gym

We went.
We saw.
We conquered the treadmill for about 2o minutes aka 2 miles. The TV on my treadmill was busted so I was staring at a green screen while running and flailing my arms.. Thriller style.. Must have looked v. similar to when they did the in-house-studio-shots for the matrix:

Arms flailing about legs akimbo and green screen.

I'm wondering where I spent more time.. in the shower or on the treadmill? Of course this has brought me to the realization that I:

A. need a lock
B. need to not wear expensive jewelry to work
C. need mucinex or some kind of cough medicine
D. need to wear a dress or easy assembly clothing every day
E. need to suck it up and drive to LA Fitness in the morning.. or just run outside

But I committed to 3 days at this gym & 3 work-outs I shall have

new gym?

And That my good friends... is called Sunday Afternoon

















Sunday afternoons such as these kind of prevents one from taking on more productive pursuits such as.. Oh, lets say.. unpacking one's room after they move.. running.. making phone calls re: said move.. reading the manual on your refrigerator to make sure you don't turn the dial, oh lets say to 9 and freeze all your food? And ruin it..

But it seems one must partake in Sunday afternoons like this when your neighbour and friend of many years invites you to his home.. when he lives 4 doors down (on the same side of the block). Certainly it would be impolite and rude to turn down both (Bloody) Mary and Anonymous friend-- thereby hurting 2 peoples feelings.

Procrastination continues.. until.. yesterday at lunch when D & I went to the gym in my bldg.

Progress.

Understood that not joining a gym located IN my bldg is the height of laziness (esp. when I have a free pass for the month of Aug).. but I've gotta think about it.. try it out & just really:


Force Myself To Gym-It at Lunch EVERY DAY.

Even though I have a nasty cold.. even though I am sans the LV garment bag (of my dreams) which as we all know would make going to the gym so much more stylish!! I will press on in the hopes that a loyal reader will take pity on me while acknowledging my dreams of running/fitness/healthy-lifestyle-ness and buy me my LV garment bag! Then I can write about them, how fabulous they are.. create instant Internet celebrity for them and put them on the cover of People magazine!

Thank you yet to be named high-end-leather-goods-benefactor!

omfg. That did not just happen to me.

OMG. You won’t believe…



so SOMEONE in an effort to save me time and make my life easier.. took a whole ton of garbage-unsorted- to THEIR house where you don't really have to sort and they don't go through your trash whatever.. Well.. instead it was randomly dumped it in a garbage can on the street in the next town over..



YEAH.



my address was in there. My Mom’s address was in there.. They went to her house then The department of sanitation showed up to my apt LOOKING FOR ME THIS MORNING.



My landlord just called & was like.. Um. The department of sanitation is HERE looking for you.. I was like WHAT?

SHE TALKED THEM OUT OF GIVING ME A FINE.. I am stunned. I had NO idea what she was talking about. I've been there 2 days & a government agency shows up looking for me? She must have been scared out of her mind and not very happy.



I have a cold from the mix of all the dust in that room.. hadn't been cleaned in YEARS.. and the bleach I used to get rid of the dust.. My lungs are not happy.. I'm coughing so hard that i almost threw up in my garbage can here at my desk.

And that is today.. in a nutshell.

? ? ?

What is going on? My head is spinning and not in a I'm going to throw up, have a hang over or feel like I'm coming down with something kind of way (which I actually do feel like I'm getting sick- I think its the stress).

I'm really feeling awkward today & am having a hard time putting it together.

And Verizon JUST called me and I owe them $226.88 ARE YOU SERIOUS? How is that even possible? God, that makes me seem like some type of degenerate who doesn't pay their bill?? I have to call them, this is out of control.

I need to buy pillows for my bed b/c I only have one and that is not going to work.
I need to buy an extension cord & a power strip for my tv/dvd/cable.
I need to buy lunch even though I swore up and down that I wouldn't be doing that.
I need to go to the bank and take out $xxx.xx.
I need to go to NYSC and check out the gym.
I need to get a parking spot in front of my building tonight @ 7 to load up my car.
I need to not just have paid verizon $200.
I need to take last years un-given Christmas presents out of the bar (don't ask).
I need to go to CVS and buy cleaning products to bleach the ---- out of my new apt tomorrow.
I need to buy bleach b/c I love the way it smells & I put it on everything.
I need to buy dinner b/c I have no food in my current apt.
I need to buy a bottle of wine.
lie.
I need to buy 3 bottles of wine (for tonight).
I need to buy 3 bottles of wine for tomorrow.
I need to invent an alcohol poisoning detector kit because I'm going to need it.
I need to buy towels.. because my monogrammed towels won't arrive in time.
I need a thermometer b/c I'm pretty sure I have a fever.
I need to not spend over $1000 today and I guarantee you that I will spend more.
I need a ring pop.


I need to relax.

Beers & Tears

Not sure if it was the inappropriate mixture of wine in a box (see above) and Bud Light that caused me to cry myself to sleep last night... or... the fact that I will only be sleeping there for 2 more nights? But whatever it was, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Just an overwhelming feeling of sadness that could not be tamed. I thought I would be nothing short of overjoyed but it seems.. this unanticipated anxiety is a force to be reckoned with.

Onwards! I have just received a free month's membership to the NYSC in my building. Fabulous.. just the kick in the skirt I need to run at lunch. I have a stunning flat screen tv (just short of assembly) that I will be watching Saturday morning while I wait for my bed- Im not sure what I'll be in the mood to watch?? Maybe 'Marie Antoinette' or 'The Painted Veil' or.... some 'Arrested Development' whatever it is.. It doesn't really matter b/c its a dvd off my choosing. Luckily for moi, the one thing I didn't have to buy was a dvd player.. I have my very own ghetto dvd/vcr player. That's right.. VCR! Who owns a vcr?

I almost feel that I have to be closeted about this ownership. Dare I admit that I actually own vhs cassette tapes? Gasp. Not that I am a proponent of them in any way.shape.or.form. but sometimes, when is a classic & you've had it (for what seems like) ages its hard to let go. Home Alone for example, I will not get rid of that tape! Why? I couldn't tell you. Perhaps it evokes memories of childhood, thanksgiving, sitting way too close to the tv on the floor with popcorn? Who knows.. but there is something almost sacred about that tape.. and really that's why I bought the combo player-- and -- why I still have it. I don't care to align myself with the toothless, denim overall-ed yokel's that I mentally assign to be proud owners of VCR players, believing them to be the latest in motion picture viewing.. but I have to admit.. I do own a vcr. Maybe I'll watch Home Alone on Saturday morning? Create a new memory.

Random statement of the day:

Team Nosferatu!

Spandex is not for everyone

What would happen I wonder.. If I was improper enough in buseiness, blog or personale to not use teh spell check? Surely it would begin to annoy a reader, look obnoxious and right off teh bat be totally W.R.O.N.G.

Well, folks (all typo's aside) that is how I feel about spandex pants or leggings as they are so popularly referred to now. I believe 'spandex' evokes a kind of late 80's early 90's Raquel Welch work out video image and G-d forbid we call a spade a spade and remind ourselves that it wasn't acceptable to dress like this back then and it certainly isn't acceptable now- esp. for those of us on our 2nd go around in this stretchy, curve loving fabric.

So, Im standing on the escalator, on the right hand side: (this is important) for those of you who don't know the right side is for people who choose to stand still and ride the escalator vs. left hand side are people who walk up the escalator (v. similar to stairmaster or similar). As am wearing quite a short dress I do not want people staring at my thighs or noticing that my garment is kind of lacking fabric. Having afforded myself 3 full minutes of free time, I notice what people are wearing as they stairmaster past me- lo and behold.. 6 people wearing "leggings" and im sorry.. different heights, weights, cankles, ethnicities, what have you -


VISUAL ASSAULT.



They did not look good on anyone!!

Yikes, I don't know what kind of body dismorphia these people have but I implore you.. do not wear spandex pants in public. I don't care that you have a schmancy top on and accessorized with a tacky gold belt and russel-crowe-gladiator-sandals. It still isn't OK.

Wear it to the gym.. Wear it to bed.. wear it in your home.. to yoga & ballet class! Not to work. How can anyone take you seriously if you are wearing spandex in a corporate environment?

Enough of that.. I am in a hideous mood as I purchaced a 37 or was it 40in flat screen tv last night somewhere in the ballpark of -OH its really late, this store is closing and this is NOT the time to be doing this. Now I have to assemble the base tonight and hook up the cable to see if I have to call the cable guy- rather if my landlord has to call to have it hooked it up so it is V. important that I do this ASAP to avoid moving in Sat & not having a tv to watch while I wait for the 1.800.sleepys men to deliver my bed.

The perfect case scenario:

I am watching my favourite TV show- which has already been DVR'ed and now I have the inaugural jump on my bed. Yes, I jump on the bed. Every bed I have ever slept on has been jumped on by yours truly.

Further perfection, I give you.. my vacation...

Bueller?

That is the "clean" portion of my desk from earlier on this morning.

Due to a chaotic day.. I am unable to finish:

A) full blog with one complete thought process

2) a complete thought

C) a conversation.. apparently I am now to be moving my TV into my apt tomorrow evening... and the Fridge? Hello.

D) who knows.. im so stressed I might start that bizarre hair pulling syndrome? Tomorrow there will be a photo of bald patch amongst thickly sprouting red hair?

E) in any event.. I am meeting my stunning soon to be married cousin this evening.. anyone with mid-upper east side suggestions?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?